Skip to content

Lil’ Old Ladies Like Smut Too

July 30, 2010

I’m in Calgary visiting friends and family for a week, including some sassy babes I haven’t seen in 20 years. When I mention my grandma to them, I invariably get the same reaction: Your grandma is still alive? My response? Omigod, is she ever!

GiGi, as she’s known (G.G., short for great grandma) will be 88-years-old this September, is grandma to seven and great-grandma to nine. She regards getting old as a royal pain in the ass and told me that if the time ever comes to stick her in a home, we should just club her over the head and be done with it.

Unlike many her age, she lives on her own in a seniors condo and still motors around in a 25-year-old Camry. She needs to pass a medical exam and drivers’ test every year to renew her license and I’m fairly certain she keeps passing both to prove that she can (and piss off her concerned sons) rather than fulfilling any great desire to drive to Safeway.

GiGi has a hunk-of-the-month calendar hanging in her kitchen to keep track of appointments and she once admitted that, if she could do it all again, she’d have made out with more boys as a teen before settling down with my grandpa.

She waterskied into her 60’s and swam miles at a time. She took me skinny-dipping for the first time as a child and gave me my first manicure. She was the first person to read my swear-and-sex-filled manuscript (in one sitting) and is incredulous that it isn’t already in bookstores. She fueled my adoration for grape slurpees and saved every letter I wrote her.

She is, in short, the Betty White of her condo and a major love of my life.

LD

GiGi showing off her hunk-of-the-month calendar

Advertisements
16 Comments leave one →
  1. lisa permalink
    July 30, 2010 12:30 pm

    your GiGi rocks!

  2. Kevin permalink
    July 30, 2010 2:33 pm

    Cheers to Grandmas that rock!

  3. Krista permalink
    July 30, 2010 6:52 pm

    Oh cousin, have you actually been in a car with GG driving lately?? I’m not entirely sure she SHOULD be passing her driver’s test every year….perhaps she’s bribing the folks down at registries with homemade pie? Love you Gram!

    • July 31, 2010 2:59 pm

      Funny thing – you are not the first relative to make this comment…

  4. July 30, 2010 11:44 pm

    Love this woman already.

    • July 31, 2010 3:00 pm

      Just be careful…she lives in your city and drives on your streets!

  5. July 31, 2010 6:29 pm

    Aw come on.You all know that I am a VERY good driver . Always have been and still am!!!

  6. Uncle Bob permalink
    August 1, 2010 7:47 am

    OK all you relatives, back off. If the medicals & testers say she’s good to drive, so be it. Go Mom!!!!

  7. Lynne Rennie permalink
    August 2, 2010 2:15 am

    GG – are you accepting applications for new grandchildren?

    • August 6, 2010 12:51 am

      She would like me to pass on that, yes, applications will be accepted (and p.s. she’ll be needing a new calendar soon)…

  8. August 3, 2010 9:55 am

    Grandmas are the BEST. Mine turns 80 this week and is still full of SASS & SPUNK (not to mention great stories, and some not to be repeated). The Camry, however, went about 7 years ago (seriously). And now my mom drives it!!! Too funny… LOVE your posts, Lori!

    • August 6, 2010 12:52 am

      Thank you Miss BJas! We should get our grannies together…they could do some damage…!

      I appreciate you taking the time to read/post on my blog…now get back to your writing 😉

  9. August 3, 2010 11:03 am

    Writer’s crush confirmed!

    Crystal
    http://www.crystalspins.com

Trackbacks

  1. Travel For Dummies (i.e. moi) « Lori Dyan

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: