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Sick Men Suck

August 13, 2010

My husband has been fighting a high fever for a two days and I am so over it. Granted, it takes a lot to bring him down, but once there, my fella regresses to a sucky three-year-old clamoring for his mommy. Unfortunately (or not, depending on the day), she lives in Europe, leaving me as the understudy mama in his little drama.

Having kids capable of teaching a class in vomiting has dropped my man’s achy tummy down a few notches on the scale of Things I Give a Crap About and, as a result, he’s not getting the TLC he craves. I know he’s in real pain and I’m not a totally heartless bitch (about this, anyway), it’s just that the rules are different whenever I (or any of my mom friends) get sick. I could cough up a lung and my kids would just step over it to demand an afternoon snack. We don’t get anyone to mommy us because we are the mommies.

As a newlywed, I liked babying him. For example, when I traveled for work, I’d not only leave him prepared meals, I’d also highlight the takeout menus so he’d know what to order. It all sounds very Marion Cunningham, but don’t judge me because the man cleans toilets

Actually, I think this is the main reason I’m so pissed at his puking: he normally does at least half of the housework; he’s a better parent than me most days (they don’t call him Fun Daddy for nothing); and he’s kind, funny and hot (even after the fever goes away). My husband is a true partner and ideal daddy.

Damn. I think I better go and make some amends. And soup.

Get 'em while they're hot.

30 Comments leave one →
  1. August 13, 2010 8:29 am

    My wife feels the same way when I get sick. No sympathy. 😦

    Still, when she is sick, I don’t know how she keeps going. Must be a mommy thing. Yes, I can press on with a cold or something minor, but once the puking starts, I’m down for the count. Before it starts, actually, because I can’t handle any sort of tummy trouble.

    I guess that makes me kind of a weenie, which I’m sure is why my wife lacks sympathy! 😀

    Hope he gets well soon and no one else picks up the bug.

    • August 13, 2010 8:48 am

      Thanks for the kindness! I will pass on your wishes to the hubs, who is considering a shower at the moment…maybe all you dudes should start a little club or something…?

      • August 13, 2010 9:05 am

        The “Sick Men’s Club?”

        Or pehaps something more activist, like “Sick Men for Sympathy!”

        At the very least, us guys can comisserate with each other!


      • August 13, 2010 3:24 pm

        Sick men’s club sounds wayyyyy too perverted!

  2. August 13, 2010 10:02 am

    I know why men are babies when they are sick…I have cracked the secret code! As babies, we cuddle/coddle them when they are sick because it is the only time they will sit still and let you love on them, hence we mothers are setting future husbands up to be complete and total weenies once their nose gets stuffy!

    • August 13, 2010 3:27 pm

      It’s SO true!!! My son puking is a national event! We need a plan totaele care of the puking while avoiding the weenie-making encouragement…

  3. August 13, 2010 10:12 am

    I am always amazed that a simple cold can fell even the biggest, strongest man. Mother Nature’s sense of humor I guess.


    • August 13, 2010 3:28 pm

      Between this and labor, I’ve decided that her sense of humor is twisted…

  4. Michael permalink
    August 13, 2010 11:21 am

    You wield a keyboard like Yoda a light saber. My morning routine now includes your blog (somewhere between coffee and constitution). Keep up the great writing!!

    • August 13, 2010 3:30 pm

      Oh HB…you are my Chewbacca! Thx for reading and if I can help in the can, then my work here is done….

  5. The Perfectly Imperfect One permalink
    August 13, 2010 11:51 am

    So sad yet so true, my man, while he tries pretty hard not to act that way when he’s sick, he is a huge baby even with just a cold.

  6. August 13, 2010 11:59 am

    A story that NEEDS to be told. I never noticed it until I was a mother. My own mother actually said to me, “good luck, mothers don’t have time to get sick,” and truer words were never spoken. I had bronchitis when my daughter was about 2 months old. Simultaneously my husband had was he described as “kind of a tickle in my throat, but it hurts.” I’ll let you guess who brought continued with their daily routine of and which one stayed in bed to get some rest.

    • August 13, 2010 3:33 pm

      Oh QT, I feel that pain! With no family here, I never get a mommy when I’m sick either…and it sucks!!!

  7. August 13, 2010 1:07 pm

    It’s something that is ingrained in most women who are mothers. We get irritated by the sickness of our husbands because it is one more person who needs us. Did you ever see the You Tube clip: Man Cold? It’s so funny.

    That being said, I could probably play the martyr role a little less when I get sick. Maybe then he would want to look after me. Maybe.

  8. August 13, 2010 3:52 pm

    Aww your poor hubby!! I’m still in the pre-kids phase, so I’d be making soup and coddling him to no end. And my husband actually takes really great care of me when I’m sick so I can’t complain (yet) 🙂

    Hope he feels better soon!!

    • August 13, 2010 5:05 pm

      Awww – sounds like you have a real catch on your hands – lovely to hear you’re getting some reciprocation, too!


  9. August 13, 2010 6:25 pm

    hi Lori, re: ‘Sick Men Suck’

    “Half the housework”? Lori, if you are on a good thing, then stick to it!

    Sounds like you have snared a good one?


    Love your blogs.

    Doug (Sydney, Australia)

  10. August 13, 2010 8:32 pm

    I hear you all to well on this one, except mine, doesn’t help me on a good day, let alone one when HE is not well. Good luck with the barf 😉

  11. August 13, 2010 11:36 pm

    A couple of years ago, my husband and I both came down with the same nasty flu. We went to see the same doctor, who said to my husband, “You’re sick, but your wife is sicker.” Vindication…for a moment. And then I went home and unpacked the dishwasher.

    • August 15, 2010 10:40 pm

      Classic. What is in our DNA that compels us to be all domestic even on our death beds? Oh wait…it’s because if we didn’t, our families would be on Hoarders…

  12. August 14, 2010 2:00 am

    How true this is – earlier this year, the stomach flu went through my home – I got it first – spent most of one night hunched over the toilet. hubby was nice enough to get up with our little one. I woke to the two of them getting in our shower (a sure sign hubby is done) at 9 am. Told hubby I needed diapers and something for my tummy. He handed me the car keys. When he got sick the next day, it was like he was dying…

    • August 15, 2010 10:38 pm

      HANDED YOU THE CAR KEYS!!!! I would be cringing if I wasn’t laughing so hard (you can laugh about it now, too…right? RIGHT?)

  13. August 15, 2010 4:48 pm

    Hahaha! This is so true! The first time my hubby got sick around me was when we both were still in college and were mere “boyfriend-girlfriend”. He didn’t believe anything I said as far as getting himself healthy…so, he called “mommy”. OMG!! What a baby!

    Now, twenty years later, he doesn’t call her when he’s sick, BUT boy do I wish he would! He’s pitiful! And you’re right about the kids…they could care less if your limbs are ripped from their sockets. They just want to know why dinner isn’t cooked! GEEZ!!

    • August 15, 2010 10:35 pm

      Gawd – I wish we could all call their mommies…for them and us!

  14. August 15, 2010 7:30 pm

    You have a ‘barf’ category! I can’t bring myself to look up your past posts under ‘barf’ but I’m sure they are as funny as this one.

    • August 15, 2010 10:35 pm

      Hee – they aren’t too bad…go ahead…I dare you to read! (p.s. I just realized that I also have a puke category)


  1. I Barf Like I Bake Cookies « Lori Dyan

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