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Ding Dong Da Crackpot’s Gone

February 2, 2011

You may have noticed that I’m a fan of superlatives (i.e. “That Frosty was extraordinary!”) but I am not exaggerating in the least when I tell you that last week was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

Sure, I averaged only five hours of sleep every night because my kid and husband were sick. Yes, I had to get my eardrum scraped by the terrifying ENT doctor for an infection that will not quit. It’s true; my new crystal deodorant is absolutely not doing the job. That stuff doesn’t matter, people, because the Curse. Has. Been. Lifted.*

To re-cap: my neighbour is coconuts and I’m fairly certain she put a hex on me on few weeks ago, resulting in all sorts of kooky crap landing in my lap. But things changed in a cosmically substantial way last Thursday when I arrived home after school and saw a For Sale sign on the psycho’s front lawn. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief but this was no snow mirage – she’s really leaving (assuming the house sells, which it will, because I’m gonna buy it myself if necessary) .

Things immediately started going my way: I stepped out of my car and when I put the keys in my pocket, I pulled out a twenty-dollar bill; I went into the house and a sassy chick I haven’t spoken to in years had left me a great voicemail; I checked my computer and saw an agent’s e-mail asking for more pages of my manuscript.

I felt like the mom in Poltergeist after she pulled her kid out of the TV.

Okay, I may be exaggerating…slightly.

This house is clean.

* Cue Hallelujah chorus

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19 Comments leave one →
  1. ryoko861 permalink
    February 2, 2011 7:23 am

    That’s got to be a relief! Now be careful what you wish for! The new neighbors could be a nightmare as well. I’m living proof of that scenario!

    • February 2, 2011 7:34 am

      Ack – never thought of that! Unless they sacrifice puppies in the front yard, they can’t be much worse…

  2. February 2, 2011 9:17 am

    Maybe I should buy it!

  3. February 2, 2011 11:53 am

    Oh no! We just put our house on the market. I hope there isn’t a neighbor writing the same post about us. (Mostly to complain about our 3 cats and how my husband’s car always scrapes the driveway when he backs out….yeah, we’re a miserable lot!)

    • February 2, 2011 1:04 pm

      Wanna buy my neighbour’s house in case Ironic Mom decides to forego chilly Toronto for chilly Calgary?

  4. February 2, 2011 12:39 pm

    Wait? Is this the same neighbor who has the twins and brings you all kinds of spicy concoctions? I need to catch up over here! Send some of your good ju-ju my way when you get a chance. I think a celebratory cocktail is in order. Is 9:30 too early for wine?

    • February 2, 2011 1:05 pm

      Ha – today’s a snow day. Hence, my cocktail hour started at 9am. Ju-ju is en route, baby!

  5. February 2, 2011 4:09 pm

    I’m glad the hex is lifted! Whoohoo!

    Now if you could take back your frigid Toronto air so we could stop having rolling blackouts because We Don’t Do Cold in Texas, that would go a long way to helping my day be better.

    Oh, and make the 3 year old stop puking. It’s killing me.

    Any anti-hex rituals I should be performing?

    • February 4, 2011 2:53 pm

      Texas is coconuts these days! I have no suggestions re. stopping the puke, but once it’s done, get some Sport Suds to lose the smell 😉

  6. The Perfectly Imperfect One permalink
    February 2, 2011 10:53 pm

    That’s awesome!

  7. February 3, 2011 12:32 pm

    Woohoo! Nothing like a good hex lifting and found $$ to brighten your day! Can we buy the house? I think you’d be a cool neighbor!

    • February 4, 2011 2:54 pm

      I’d love you to be my neighbour! But judging by how differently we spell “neighbour/neighbor” I fear you’d be in for a loooong drive…

  8. February 3, 2011 12:49 pm

    how much….maybe i should move in – but then we’d be at Betty Ford or whereever they send you for serbian meat sandwich addictions…

    • February 4, 2011 2:55 pm

      You need to stay put so we have an excuse to hit the Serbian sandwich joint!

  9. February 3, 2011 1:19 pm

    At first I thought the title was Ding Dong Da Crockpot’s Gone and I was wondering what kind of mischief the kitchen appliance had been up to to make you so excited that it had finally booked it.
    But now I get it. Congrats!!!! Please let me know what your secret is for getting rid of annoying neighbors I could use it!

    • February 4, 2011 2:56 pm

      I am not even joking when I tell you that a mom at my kid’s hippie school gave me a bunch of curse-lifting, mojo-enhancing anti-hexes. I didn’t actually try any of them (I don’t keep dried banana peppers in the house), but I thought about them a lot….maybe that worked?

  10. February 4, 2011 10:10 am

    Woohoo! There must be something in the air. My psycho neighbour isn’t moving, but he did use his snowblower to do my portion of the sidewalk after the blizzard. WEIRD.

    • February 4, 2011 2:57 pm

      I’m putting it down to Chinese New Year – the tiger was a bitch, but now we have happy little bunnies…

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