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Fun Daddy Gives Me Rug Burn

February 7, 2011

When my son was born seven years ago, I was adamant that bedtime be a calm, habitual affair full of baths, baby massage and cuddles on the rocking chair. A few years and another kid later, bedtime has now become a joyous, chaotic romp that leaves me wondering how my downstairs ceiling can possibly hold up.

This shift is due in large part to my husband, the Serb, also known as Fun Daddy. He’s the one who rolls through the front door at the end of the day, ready for laughs and games, only to find me screaming at my son to let his sister out of the closet before I stick them both in there until bedtime. For those of you familiar with Modern Family – he is Phil to my Claire.

Fun Daddy really shines at bedtime. Those who dare to come over for a sleepover at Casa del Dyan will need to familiarize themselves with a few of our nightly games:

Corava Baka

This roughly translates to “Blind Grandma” and it involves one person pulling a toque* down over the eyes and nose (rendering him or her blind) and chasing the other participants. When someone is caught, he or she becomes the Grandma. Other than that, the rules are simple: there are no rules. Atomic wedgies and pokes to the belly are de rigueur. The game is usually over when mommy someone threatens to puke.

Blind granny's gonna getcha.

Funny Walk Competition

Our upstairs hallway becomes a catwalk of craziness. Each kid takes turns parading their wackiest walks, with categories such as “best wiggle,” “fastest hopping,” and “goofiest strut.” It’s like Toddlers & Tiaras meets a bad acid trip.

Super Granny

This is Fun Daddy’s signature character and it is a tour de force performance. He prepares by pulling the opening of his shirt up around his head so his face is poking through. He then proceeds to terrorize the kids with the most disturbing voice you’ve ever heard (6’4” Serb + high-pitched squeal = your worst nightmare). The terror is offset by his yelps of, “More powerful than a stinky diaper…stronger than an afternoon nap…it’s Suuuuper Granny!”

Super Granny is terrifying, but has a nice ass...

Rather than keeping our kids up all night drenched in terror, these games send them in to a sweet slumber, at least until 5:47 a.m., which is when our daughter wakes up (Every. Single. Day.). Although, like Claire, I frequently feel like my husband is an extra child, I wouldn’t trade Fun Daddy for anything. He makes being a kid (and adult) a lot more fun.

*A winter hat that Urban Dictionary defines as, “The ultimate in high Canadian fashion.”

14 Comments leave one →
  1. February 7, 2011 10:26 am

    Have I told you lately how much I adore your blog? About how I almost pee when I read it? How I choked on my grapefruit from laughing (yet another reason not to eat that healthy crap!)?


    Well, there you have it.

    Your stalker,

    • February 7, 2011 11:41 am

      Ummm…is it considered stalking if it’s reciprocal???? 😉

  2. February 7, 2011 10:41 am

    We have naked time, where the kids get to jump on the bed naked before bed. They’ve also made it a game to hide under the covers to prevent getting their pj’s on. Blind granny seems like a very fun game. I’m afraid our bedtime ritual has never been calming. It starts with procrastination. Both the kids proclaim they are hungry right at the stroke of 8 so now we have a new meal dubbed the “bedtime snack”. Then they run around like little mad men to get their last bits of energy out. Eventually we do read 3 stories and at some point usually before 9pm they fall asleep and most of the time, I do too.

    • February 7, 2011 11:35 am

      I always have the best sleeps when I fall asleep with my kids…but the next day is a nightmare trying to catch up on what I missed doing the night before!

    • February 7, 2011 1:11 pm

      I think Naked time starts for Lori and the Serb after bedtime……

      • February 7, 2011 2:04 pm

        Damn – from your mouth to the Serb’s ear (or, erm, your fingers to his eyes?)…

  3. February 7, 2011 12:25 pm

    I can’t WAIT for the games to begin. While I’m usually the crabby tired Claire, I always wanted to be Phil. (A cuter, smarter Phil.)

    And I think I may just love Funny Daddy.

    • February 7, 2011 2:05 pm

      I soooo want to be Phil (even the dumber version) but I’m destined to be a bit OCD and cranky…

      There’s a lot to love about Fun Daddy…if the writing thing doesn’t work out, I may consider renting him out….

  4. February 7, 2011 4:22 pm

    Corava Baka has a nice, lyrical sound to it…which no doubt is broken by the time the game begins. It’s usually at these times I revert to my mother, and start yelling things like “Someone’s going to get hurt” or “Mommy doesn’t like this game.” (Yes, just call me Rain. As in Rain-on-you-Parade).

    Pass me a drink.

  5. ryoko861 permalink
    February 7, 2011 8:01 pm

    All this will be great memories for the kids and hope that they’ll be as fun loving when they become parents.

    • February 8, 2011 7:46 am

      I’m hoping they get more from fun daddy and less from me…at least when it comes to having fun…

  6. February 8, 2011 12:41 pm

    Wow! Totally awesome bedtime routine but how do you guys have enough energy for it? If I could get my son to give himself a bath and then tuck ME in bed.

    • February 8, 2011 4:10 pm

      I absolutely never have the energy (unless it’s to yell at them to slow down)

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