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Boredom: The Gift That Keeps On Giving (me an ulcer)

February 24, 2011

March break is coming up at the hippie school and it’s a two-week affair so naturally I started planning things for my kids last October. I thought I was being extremely clever booking a trip with my friend and her family to Mexico for a week. Then I realized that our school calendars don’t match up, so we leave for Mexico on what should be the first day back at school. I am, as they say, so screwed.

I love my kids and I am a very happy work-from-home-mom, but having a seven-year-old son and three-year-old daughter in the house with me 24/7 for fourteen days is a recipe for a vodka-infused nervous breakdown.

I’m fascinated by my son’s incredible imagination; heaven for him is a roll of duct tape and some yarn (he is the MacGyver of our neighbourhood). He regularly eschews his toys for my spice cupboard and make-up bag (“I’m making potions!”) or his dad’s tools (“I need to hammer in the propeller!”). The short-term gain for me – getting work done during the day while my son putters around the house – is offset by the time spent at night removing stains from our carpets. In a nutshell, my son is a mad scientist and our house is his lab.

Just another Tuesday afternoon...

His sister is a (naked) tasmanian devil after a few espressos. In the span of twenty minutes today, she: dressed up as a cowgirl (hat, rope, boots, naked); made a jelly monster out of play-doh; demanded I be a puppy and walked me around the house; ordered me to play chess with her (this involves her pieces eating all of mine); cajoled me into a game of Battleship (see: chess, above); pleaded for me to paint her toenails; directed me to make her oatmeal and put on a show for me (I applaud her while she runs around in a circle…naked). Believe me, I was twice as exhausted doing it as you are reading it.

All that's missing is toenail polish.

My point being, I need to line up some play dates and camps for these kids, pronto. Either that or some rehab for their mama.

14 Comments leave one →
  1. ryoko861 permalink
    February 24, 2011 8:37 am

    yes, I agree, playdates are greatly needed here!

    I need to nap now after all that!

  2. TheIdiotSpeaketh permalink
    February 24, 2011 2:36 pm

    Sounds like you are sure gonna need the rehab if you don’t get something lined up and quick! 🙂

    • February 27, 2011 9:27 pm

      I am on a 3 week cleanse now, so no booze…I am so screwed…

  3. February 24, 2011 3:04 pm

    Oh how I wish we lived in the same city! I have visions of us letting our wild beasts dress up in tutus, paint their bodies with melted chocolate, and run amuck in the chicken coop while we drink martinis and eat cheese. Good luck!

    • February 27, 2011 9:28 pm

      We need to make that happen…maybe we can meet half way at the coop of one of your chicken connections???

  4. February 24, 2011 4:33 pm

    I may lobby to move near Morgan!! I am sure my daughter could keep up, although there would be twice the mess and a few power struggles!

    You haven’t consider the alternative – duct tape, closet, wine. I’ll leave execution details to you.

    • February 27, 2011 9:29 pm

      Duct tape, closet and wine…just another Sunday night with the Serb, baby… 😉

  5. February 24, 2011 9:03 pm

    I think Charlie Sheen is free? He’ll probably fit right in!

    • February 27, 2011 9:30 pm

      He doesn’t stand a chance against my kid…although she may scare him straight…

  6. February 24, 2011 9:04 pm

    I think he also comes with a lot of girlfriends to help out and watch the kids…

  7. February 25, 2011 6:24 am

    I signed mine out for an outdoor woody camp. He loved it until day 2 when he got the flu and threw up on the bus on the way home. No play dates for us…just being quarantined with lots of computer and TV time.

  8. March 2, 2011 7:54 pm

    I just found out I’m going to have one of my kids for the entire spring break by myself. I don’t think either one of us knows what to do with each other with that much of unscheduled time.
    Good luck, I’ll be thinking of ya’!

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