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How to Get Kicked Out of the PTA

May 2, 2011

I know my strengths—margarita connoisseur, gluten avoider—yet I’m also well aware of my limitations: gardening, home repair and baking calamities are de rigueur in my world. Now I can add “visual artist” to my ever-growing list of Things I Kinda Suck At Doing But Which Make For Interesting Blog Fodder.

As a parent representative at my kids’ school, I attend monthly meetings where we discuss upcoming events and sometimes replicate an activity that the children do in class, such as painting.

While in grade one last year, my son painted us a picture using a technique called wet on wet. The paper is saturated and then sponged off. As paint is applied, it diffuses on the page. When done correctly the results can be extraordinary:

“Night Sky” was painted by my six-year-old.

When done incorrectly (i.e. by yours truly), the results are rather…pornographic:

What would Dr. Rorschach say?

I don’t know if subconsciously I was hankering for some sexy time with the Serb or what, but I am now the Georgia O’Keeffe of the hippie school. I’ve wanted to overhaul the look of my blog for months and based on the example above, I obviously require some artistic intervention.

Enter the fabulous Jenn of Munchkin Land Designs. We’ve only met online and live in different countries, yet she was able to take my ramblings (“Make it silly and creative and professional and, you know, like me…okay?”) and turn them into pure gorgeousity.

Obviously, I am thrilled; when you see it later this week, hopefully you will be, too. Mostly, I’m just happy it doesn’t look like a big snapper.

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30 Comments leave one →
  1. ryoko861 permalink
    May 2, 2011 8:23 am

    Hey, beauty is in the eye of the beholder! I think it’s great! And if the PTA doesn’t like they can stuff it!
    (I had my stint with those women…..most of them have sticks up their asses!)

    • May 2, 2011 9:08 am

      My fellow PTA ladies are amazing…seriously, I love them and my school is NOT the type to kick anyone out…but other schools might 😉

      They just don’t paint vajayjays like I do! 🙂

  2. May 2, 2011 8:34 am

    Id like to see you take an inkblot test 😉

    • May 2, 2011 9:21 am

      Yikes – that would likely lead to a divorce and call from social services…

  3. May 2, 2011 9:36 am

    Ok..so…is my mind in the gutter? ‘Cuz it is often in the gutter.

    And what I saw there, in your artwork, was a possible attempt at a heart, that ended up looking like it should be the centerfold for June issue of Watercolor Artist.

  4. May 2, 2011 11:32 am

    heehee.

    it has been AGES since I heard/read/said “snapper.”

    Thanks for the laugh.

    And I hope I’m not too jealous of the redesign.

    Hopefully, it’ll inspire me.

    I want to do something, too BUT NO IDEAS.

    • May 2, 2011 4:34 pm

      I love saying “snapper”…it can mean so many things and convey so much 😉

      Hopefully y’all will like the design – it’s much more professional looking than what I had up there. I also hope the site is up before the week is over because I’m also transferring everything to wordpress.org. Scary time for a non-techie person like myself!

  5. May 2, 2011 1:11 pm

    Love that art.

    May I ask, what kind of paper and paint? I am SO NOT CRAFTY but that’s lovely and I’d like to give it a go.

    • May 2, 2011 4:32 pm

      Oh dear – I’m SO NOT the person who knows that answer….let me look into it tonight (at my PTA meeting!).

  6. May 2, 2011 3:06 pm

    So are you using the snapper art as your new header?

  7. TheIdiotSpeaketh permalink
    May 2, 2011 8:16 pm

    Painting Vayjayjays…..alrighty then……. 🙂

  8. May 2, 2011 10:46 pm

    Is it wrong that I see boobs in the first picture? The latter is obviously yonic in nature – so I’d love to see more of the artistic stylings of one Lori who is not allowed in the PTA.

    Thanks for the Monday night laugh 🙂

    • May 3, 2011 6:49 am

      They could very well be boobs – my son is obsessed with them 😀

  9. May 2, 2011 10:55 pm

    Ms. O’Keefe would be proud. I know I am. 😉

  10. May 3, 2011 9:43 am

    Is that Oprah’s vajayay?
    I’m afraid I’m going to have to report this blog to the proper authorities (i.e. Glenn Beck) for it’s unfriendly-family content that is both dubious and dirty! You will now feel the wrath of Fox “News”!
    For shame!

  11. May 3, 2011 10:39 pm

    OMG too funny! Can’t wait to see the blog’s new look!!

  12. May 4, 2011 11:11 am

    Very excited to see you new look! (Dont’ tell anyone – but I would be proud to get kicked out of the PTA!!!!) Would mean I’m super cool…

    • May 4, 2011 9:34 pm

      Thanks – I’m hoping it’s up before next Christmas…it’s taking a little while to switch over to wordpress.org…

  13. May 4, 2011 5:46 pm

    Ah, bajingo painting. You should fit right in to Hippie School.

    • May 4, 2011 9:33 pm

      BAJINGO? Awesome. And it’s my new porn name…I think I get all of my new porn names from you…

  14. May 5, 2011 12:01 pm

    I just busted out laughing when I saw that. hilarious!

  15. May 5, 2011 12:41 pm

    I’m just going to walk around saying snapper all day long

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